I’m Pregnant and My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want to Parent…What Now?

Facing an unintended pregnancy can be a daunting experience for any woman. It’s a challenging and often emotionally charged time that requires careful consideration and support from loved ones. However, what happens when the father of the child refuses to participate in parenting and suggests abortion as a way out?

You’re Not Alone

First and foremost, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are countless women who have been in your shoes and have had to make difficult decisions. While it may seem overwhelming, take comfort in the fact that there are resources and support available to you.

That being said, this is an important decision that requires careful consideration of all options. The decision to carry a child to term should not be taken lightly, but neither should the decision to terminate a pregnancy.

If your partner doesn’t want to parent the child, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with him about his feelings and why he doesn’t want to take on that responsibility. It’s possible that he may have concerns or fears that can be addressed through communication and support from others.

Avoid Relational Pressure

If you want to parent and he doesn’t, it may seem like a good idea to try and pressure him into agreeing with you. But do your best to avoid this.

Consider how you feel when people try to pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. If he is pressuring you to have an abortion and you don’t want to, this can put a strain on the relationship and prohibit you from communicating effectively and coming to an agreeable solution.

If he feels pressured to parent and there is tension in the relationship down the road, he could grow to resent you for pressuring him into a decision he did not want to make.

Abortion Won’t Keep Your Relationship In Tact

It might be tempting to consider abortion to try to save your relationship, but we know from having counseled many women in similar positions that this doesn’t necessarily end up working out. Abortion often has the opposite effect. It can create so much strife that the relationship doesn’t last and the baby’s father ends up leaving anyway.

It can be overwhelming enough dealing with the negative emotional effects of having an abortion; to add a relationship breakup to an already difficult situation could be devastating.

Consider Adoption

Adoption is a viable and often overlooked option that can provide a loving home for the child while also allowing you to continue with your life. Many couples struggle with infertility and are eager to adopt a child. Choosing to place your child up for adoption is a selfless act that provides a better life for your child and brings joy to a family who may not have otherwise had children. Adoption can also offer an alternative for women who may not have the means to care for a child on their own.

Types of Adoption

There are many different types of adoption, including open, closed, and semi-open adoption. With open adoption, you can choose the adoptive family and have ongoing communication with them and your child. With closed adoption, you won’t have any contact with the adoptive family or your child, and with semi-open adoption, you can have some communication with the adoptive family and your child.

Choosing adoption does not mean that you are giving up on your child or that you don’t love them. It means that you are making a selfless and loving decision to give them the best possible life. It can also give you the time and resources to focus on your own goals and future, without the added stress of parenting a child.

Parenting Support

If you decide to parent your child, it’s important to think about your support system. While your boyfriend may not want to parent, there may be others in your life who are willing to support you. This can include family members, friends, or community resources such as childcare or parenting classes. It’s important to create a plan and gather the resources you need to ensure that you and your child are able to thrive.

Women’s Resource Medical Center is Here to Help You

Regardless of what decision you make, it’s important to remember that you have options and support available to you here at Women’s Resource Medical Center.

We are committed to supporting you and your baby not only during the pregnancy, but after the birth as well. Get started by scheduling a free pregnancy test and our compassionate healthcare providers will work with you to plan for the best possible outcome, regardless of your pregnancy decision.